When my hair was straight and white

This post is not at all about my hair, I promise. Except to say that I can remember my mom curling it with rags and an iron for holidays. She did this to me; trained it to misbehave like it does now, passed down this curse of curliness.


I’ve been looking through old photos the past couple days and, as often happens, I’m moved to write by something I find among them. My memory was tickled by images of platinum blonde hair and blue eyes, the cheesy baby-teeth grins, sun-touched skin, one of my brothers often with his hand in mine, a mind and body always moving and full of ideas; the daydreamer I am so obvious then.

I search in the mirror for that little girl now. I want to tell her that she has many gifts to offer and that fine things will unfold for her. She’ll need reminding one day that she’s a treasure, that she’s loved and cherised beyond words, that she’s smart and capable and that it’ll all be ok, no matter what happens.

Somewhere along our journey in life, many of us lose our resilience or forget that we are loved, that we’re not too much, that the world will carry and hold us and keep our hearts safe.

I don’t know what there is to bring back the feeling of being held in the most generous, open-handed of care as when we were children, but I believe that a part of our hearts spends a lifetime trying to get back to that beginning, back to that feeling of self-worth and total acceptance. And that joy; simple and uncomplicated.

9 thoughts on “When my hair was straight and white”

  1. Life, it does beat us up along the way, doesn’t it? We are all just as precious as we were then, we just seem to forget how much we need to value ourselves. :c) Lovely post Laura.

  2. When our children were little, a friend observed–every day children wake up with a full portion of ILAC.
    I first asked–ILAC?
    I am loveable and capable.
    Then through the day, it seeps away. And of course overnight gets refilled.
    Your message to that little blond girl is identical–ILAC.
    You are loveable and capable.
    Refresh, renew.

  3. Very poignant, beautifully written post. Being loved and accepted is essential to our well-being.
    My mother did my hair in rags too. I didn’t know the effect was permanent 😉

  4. Well-said Laura. I too wish to go some 20yrs back to my childhood days when there was just playing leisurely on muddy river-sides, climbing trees, fishing, and lot of other things. Don’t know whether I could be like that again 🙁
    By the way I like your hair now, than during your childhood 🙂

  5. I wish I could pinpoint exactly when I learned humbleness. That the world didn’t revolve around me. (Maybe I haven’t learned it yet?) : )
    But seriously…how could we get through adulthood without first living through the joy/unfettered chaos/ of childhood?
    At least it gives us something nice to look back on, right?

  6. Jayne: Thanks, yeah.

    KGMom: I love that; thanks for sharing it.

    I taught little ones for a very short period of time and some of them were so in need of hearing this type of message.

    Sekhar: I’m still that little girl at the beach, when given the chance.


    Susan: Ha! I think I was reminded of that daily growing up. *Little-Miss-Too-Big-For-Her-Britches* was my middle name.

  7. I had that same white hair when I was that age. 🙂 People work best when they have a childhood filled with love, encouragement, and security. Sad how many don’t get it. 🙁

  8. So true-I miss those times-it warms my heart to think about them-it all went by too quickly.-I enjoy life now but some things will just never be the same.

  9. What a great post, Laura. My mind will be buzzing with memories all day now. I like to think that little chubby-cheeked, curly-headed girl comes back whenever I’m outside, but usually only when I’m alone.

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